Losing my Mojo (Creative Block)

For a week I've been hesitant to post this, and the many ways in which I've attempted to write about this topic. Mostly because, since starting this blog in May, I haven't experienced the usual appearance of creative block. As someone who hates feeling pessimistic or experiencing a lack of hope, I've had a really hard time with creative block for NevNYC and for the main reason I'm here in New York; Acting. 

I know "blah blah blah", "woe is me". One of the main reasons I was hesitant to post this was because I now there is so many worse things going on in the world and creative block is something so many creatives experience day-to-day and sadly is just a part of the career paths I have embarked on. 

This summer my focus has been somewhat "wack". Back in October of last year I scored an assisting job in the Summer Program Office of the school I study at. AMAZING! As a student currently on a F-1 VISA (a VISA where I can legally study in American, however cannot work, EXCEPT on campus), this was such awesome news. Regular hours, awesome colleagues and management. As the year has gone on my responsibilities have broadened and as we approached the start of our Summer Programs my schedule got busier and busier. When I finished my first year training on the Full-Time Acting program I swapped onto full-time hours on the program. It sounds like I'm complaining about my job, this is NOT what this blogs intention is, I love my job and I am very appreciative of the opportunities and experiences it offers me. 

The problem I have with situations like this, is I HATE half-assing anything. As the Summer Program becomes busier my attention and focus has been on my job. Meaning my hours dedicated to writing and shooting images have decreased. The hours dedicated to training have also decreased. I still allow myself time per day to warm up physically and vocally, but applying it practially has been tough. I'm so lucky to be surrounded by acting and theatre even within my side job, so it's not as if it's a lack of inspiration that has instigated this "drought", I believe it's a pure focus shift. 

Within the past two weeks I have hit a rock bottom regarding my creativity and channeling as well as having one of the most creatively stimulating weeks of my life. CONFUSING!  I am someone who does not like to live amongst negativity or pessimism so after a week of wallowing in self-pity and blog-neglect I decided to pull my finger out. No one else can make a change expect myself so I decided:

> The only person who can implement change in my own life, is myself. 
> Cut the crap - I've been eating a lot of junk food lately, so best thing to do is CUT. IT. OUT.
> Book our rehearsal spaces to go over singing rep and old dances/jazz combinations. 
> Sing at Jim Caruso's Cast Party at Birdland Jazz Club to reconnect the feeling of getting up and performing.
> Read more
> Write down more ideas
> Re-read old blog posts
> Clean, tidy and organise the apartment
> Explore more of Brooklyn
> Spend more time with Gino
> Find the time to sit and enjoy the apartment. 
> Appreciate more.

I have to say from the positive mindset I have now thankfully returned too, this list looks so wanky, but it helped! All these things factored in to me re-routing the way my mind was heading. I say this in almost every reflective blog post but for me, positivity is all about changing the mindset and the way you look at what you have and what your goals and aims are. One of the most beneficial things I did was to take a day to get everything back in check and back in line. I sat on my new sofa with my laptop and my notepad and just wrote everything out. Everything that I feel I am lacking, everything I've seen recently that has inspired or interested in me and everything that I want to do in the coming weeks. For some reason having it all written out really helped with implementing change. Setting up performing at Birdland really set my performance preparation routines back into check. SIDENOTE: If you haven't been along to Jim Caruso's Cast Party on Mondays at 9PM yet, you're missing out. Jim is such a wonderful host and the food/drinks are diviiiiine! I had so much fun getting up and singing again and it re-lit the little flame in me, right in time for second year! Also within the same week my friend Adam, who I go to school with asked if I would like to record a radio play that he had adapted. Erm...YES! We had so much fun recording the piece for Galaxy Radio Theatre, albeit EXTREMELY hot in the recording booth! 

After a follow-up week of being proactive and positive its safe to say I am in a much better place but BOY did I hate having a week like that. But I guess its the normal, some people are going through things way worse, obviously. And some people have longer bouts of frustration or creative block but I really make it my priority to not fall into those droughts, and every time I do, its an opportunity to learn what really pulls me up and out of those moments. 

Wow. I feel so much better after getting all that off my chest. Damn I'm sorry you guys had to sit through all that, half of it probably didn't even make any sense but y'know, I guess its all part of what we do and its something we all go through from time to time especially when we get into a routine!


In other news:

I've been working on some possible future YouTube stuff, and you can pre-subscribe to the channel here!

What do you guys think of a live stream Q&A either on my Facebook Page or my YouTube. I receive a lot of questions about living in NYC and thought it could be fun! Let me know! 

Last night was really really great. I currently have my friend Joel staying with me in our spare room before he heads back to the UK. Joel actually shot my blog post in Times Square and did such a great job, but yeah he stayed with us this past week and with last night being his last night in NYC we decided to do some cooking. I say US, but Gino and Joel really cooked up a storm in the kitchen last night. Be sure to check back this week on ExperiencingGino to see what he made.... But yeah last night was really great, we had friends round we all had some drinkies and played games, it was just the perfect Sunday Evening to set up for a great week. I spent Saturday re-organising and setting up the apartment with new furniture that we got. I'm going to be doing a separate apartment post where I will go into more detail as to how we acquired the furniture (it involves my friend Jess, a UHAUL truck and driving through the heart of Manhattan at the butt-crack of dawn). 

I got the new Harry Potter book, or play script. And I am SO freakin excited! I will be reading it over and over again for the next week!

But ANYWAY *raises Monday morning coffee* heres to a positive week of making things happen!


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